Navigating Law Enforcement: Raul Rivas' Journey and Insights

In this episode with Raul Rivas, he shares his extensive law enforcement career, personal struggles with mental health, and the importance of self-care, family, and faith. This episode offers valuable insights into maintaining balance and supporting first responders' mental well-being.

Takeaways:

• Prioritize self-care and mental health to prevent burnout and tragedy
• Open communication with family and colleagues is vital
• Faith and family are foundational to resilience
• Utilize available resources and seek help early
• Create a culture of support within agencies

Raul Reeves:

Email: raul@survivefirst.us

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Welcome to Critical Aspects of Law Enforcement, the podcast where we dive into the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of the law enforcement officer.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

All right, welcome back to Critical Aspects of Law Enforcement. I'm your host, Vernon Phillips, and today on the show we got Raul. Um, I appreciate him coming out and being a part of it. I know we've taken a little bit of a break here the last couple of months, so we're uh we're diving back in with uh with Mr. Raul here. He's gonna uh I'm just gonna turn it over to him, let him talk a little bit about himself, kind of share his law enforcement history, uh what he's doing now. And sir, I'd take it over, man.

SPEAKER_04 0:53

Yeah, thank you. Appreciate it. Thanks for having me on, first of all, sir. I I do appreciate that. Um I'm I'm honored. Uh and and just uh real quick about myself. Uh again, yeah. My name is Raul Rebus. Uh I'm a uh born in New York, of course. Uh uh can tell by a little bit by the bias, that that the accent never kind of lay left me. But uh been I'm a Floridian. I've been down here since I'm nine years old. Uh, you know, grew up in the Orlando area, uh graduated from Dr. Phillips High School, uh, went to college for a couple of years up in Rhode Island and then uh joined the Military Reserve. And and uh I was gonna go ahead and take a semester off and transfer down here to uh Florida, going to UCF. And uh well, when I took that semester off, uh uh Desert Storm happened. Um so I got shipped out that way for a little bit and and uh completely kind of you know while out there just kind of thinking about life and and what I'm gonna do with my life and and uh uh you know the cop thing kind of came up. I thought that that sounded fun and and and more like me in reference to, you know, I've always been that that guy to kind of help if I could uh and and try to try to do the right thing, we all try to do the right thing, but just I liked helping, of course, and of course the fast cars and guns was a was a bonus, right? So uh uh got back into the States after being out there for almost 10 months, uh and and started putting applications in. And man, I I I uh got lucky, you know, that that that Orlando police went ahead and and picked me up. Um and I uh I stayed with them for 26 years. Uh from the time I I was 21, I turned 22 in my first phase uh FTO. I turned 22. So I was a young guy coming through uh and I did 26 years there. Um and I I had a uh a pretty uh fortunate career. I was able to do the things I wanted to do, you know, for of course patrol and bike patrol gang unit. I went undercover for a few years, uh did uh detective um SWAT for 18 years, uh you know, U.S. Marshals Task Force, FBI Task Force, ATF Task Force. So I've been fortunate to kind of move around throughout you know throughout my career. Uh so and then I retired back in uh 2019 from OPD, went to went to work briefly for FDLE that this wasn't my cup of tea. Uh so I left there. Uh then I went to uh state attorney's office. Uh as a deputy chief, state attorney's office. Uh did that for a little while, and uh uh at the same time I I I was kind of uh dabbling into the mental health for first responders kind of field. And uh uh and that just really you know it it became a passion uh trying to give back uh due to my own my own uh you know story and struggles. So uh that became a passion of mine. So and and uh and I know we'll get into this a little more, but uh it just started getting busy, you know. So I had up having to leave state attorney's office, and and now I I do what I do full-time now for first responders around the country.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Yeah, now obviously there's a whole lot there we can we can dive into. I mean, you know, you got your 26 years with uh uh OPD and then also, you know, just the stuff you did after that. Um but so back up real quick to the very first part. You said that you're originally from New York. So what part of New York? Like New York City?

SPEAKER_04 4:44

Yeah, I was born in Manhattan. I was born in Manhattan. Uh, you know, I don't have a whole lot of memories of that because we were b born in Manhattan. We moved to Jersey, uh, and then from Jersey moved down to Florida. Uh again, I was I was eight when we moved down here. I turned nine here in Florida. Uh so I have, you know, family memories uh uh up there when I was small, but I I don't have, you know, I didn't really grow up, grow up in in New York to say that. You know, I yeah, I'm Floridian, you know. If it if it uh if it gets below 60, I tell people crime would just happen because I was knocking out the car. I just I cannot handle the cold weather at all. So uh I cannot claim anything northern. I just can't, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Well no one's asked because I'm originally from New York, but the western part of the state. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah, yes, sir.

SPEAKER_04 5:33

Uh yeah, I was born in Manhattan, we went to Jersey pretty quick, uh, I think after a few years, and I I I you know lived from like five to no, I'm sorry, from like three or four to like eight, I was in Jersey, and then we came down. So yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

So yeah, obviously, you know, we we started looking at your you know, your career and your background. I mean, you know, 26 years and then plus, you know, some of the other stuff you you did. So obviously, you know, you've got a lot of experience that you know we could, you know, draw from and and dive into, but you know, throughout your time um in the law enforcement, you know, community and your career, you know, how did you just keep yourself balanced? You know, what did uh what was it for you that just you know physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, how did you keep yourself um you know kind of balanced? And if if you didn't do a great job then, but you're doing a better job now, you know, explain you know what you're doing.

SPEAKER_04 6:26

So uh you know I I I I kind of when I look back, I I don't know that I it almost feel like it was two careers. Uh uh and and what I mean by that is in the beginning of my career, you know, I I was running and gunning and and just going and getting it. I didn't know what I didn't know. You know, I and uh uh I definitely uh, you know, the the culture at OPD, you know, uh you hear people around the country say that, you know, they would tell you to suck it up and to suck it up. We didn't really even have that. We just didn't talk about anything.

SPEAKER_05 7:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:05

We just went from call to call to call, from from from uh craziness to craziness, which was part of the job. I get it, but we just didn't talk about it. We did the culture at OPD was you just kept we just kept pushing. We did we just yeah, I we really didn't even have the suck it up buttercup type thing. So um and so the the the later part of my career, you know, I'm on SWAT now and and and and uh doing uh you know, being on the on the SWAT team and the U.S. Marshall's task force and the FBI task force, you know, and and and and looking for the worst of the worst and doing those type investigations and of course robbery, there's been robbery for a long while. Uh, you know, things were were I I didn't take care of myself. Things were getting worse and uh and I I felt like things were not good in me, but I also felt like this was the way it's supposed to be for cops. You know, I I didn't know anything different. So uh, you know, the answer to that is I didn't take care of myself. I I'm I'm uh what I do now in reference to talking to to other uh first responders is uh you know I'm a cautionary tale. Don't do what I did. Don't don't ignore, don't put your head in the sand. Uh so yeah, I didn't take care of myself. Um and that's the that's the first answer to your question is I didn't I didn't do a good job at all. You know, I I uh uh and we'll get into it, but yeah, I I definitely it came to a head and it all will, and that that's another part that you know you can you can hide as much as you want at some point it's gonna come out. And then what what it looks like when it comes out, that's the scary part. You know, what does that mean when when the when you when you're when you're bottling up all the stress and the trauma and and and and the anxiety and the depression, and you're bottling all that up, when it comes out, what does it look like? DUI, domestic violence, uh uh uh anger outburst, uh, you know, and we can go on and on and on, right? The scary part is what what's it gonna look like when it comes out if you don't take care of yourself? So again, the answer is I I didn't take care of myself. And that that's that's my answer.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Yeah. So I mean, just fast forward to to now, like what what do you do now? Like what's your what's your regular routine to make sure that you're staying balanced?

SPEAKER_04 9:40

You know, uh uh, it's a good question. I don't I don't want to give you a long, long answer. Uh you know, some of it i is what I do a lot of public speaking and and that has been therapeutic for me. Uh didn't really re and I I and I I happened up upon that. It wasn't by by uh you know I didn't look to be a public speaker. Um it just kind of happened due to the the the post nightclub incident. Um and so it kind of happened, and and so that's been a little therapeutic for me. Uh and and going to get help. I mean, I actually went and got some help and and that that helped me. But now what I found out, my my my things that keep me grounded is is getting back to the things that I like doing and and and then and paying attention to uh the important things. My f my myself, just taking care of myself, you know, uh uh physically and spiritually, uh and then paying attention to my family, you know, and then getting back to the things I like to do. Like I coach football now. I got back to coaching football. I love coaching football. I I love being around the kids. And and I say kids, I'm I'm coaching high school football. I like being around the young men. You know, uh uh I like teaching uh them. I I I think I have that to give back, you know, and and it I that just that fills it fills me up, man. It does, it fills my heart, and uh, and I love that. And and and of course my and I'm and I probably should have said this first, my son. I mean, my son uh, you know, again, part of not taking care of myself, I lost many years with him. Uh I I was always around. So uh uh what I mean by lost many years, I was always present in body. Uh I was always around, right? But I wasn't always present, you know, uh in mind. Uh there were many years that I know my son couldn't come to me. Many years that he he he couldn't, he wouldn't come to me because I I wasn't the right person. I I wasn't I wasn't uh the the man I was supposed to be for him. So I met I lost many years because of that. So uh I've gotten back to, and that's what I say by getting back to family. I've gotten back to remembering that they are number one in my in my life, you know. So uh and you know, last and and not least, uh probably the most important is just putting God first. Uh uh you know, I have my own relationship with God, I've always always have.

SPEAKER_05 12:32

Um, and I learned that from my mom. Uh and that g that just gives gives me peace.

SPEAKER_04 12:43

Um and and that's kind of that those are the things I do now. Um, I can go a whole lot deeper with with the therapy and and and kind of uh after going to therapy, right, and and talking to somebody who's a whole lot smarter than I am, uh you get you get to uh you get to learn, you get to uh uh learn what your what your indicators are, what your I hate using the word triggers, right? But you get to learn what your triggers are, but more especially, like I know where my trigger may be, and that's over there, but what's it gonna do? Like maybe maybe I I missed the trigger sign, but I can I now can start feeling when I'm going down the rabbit hole, I now start feeling that that that if I'm getting a little bit angry and I I you know, Vern, I don't like that damn sign behind you. And I I just start what you know, really? What what's going on here, right? So that's the kind of and that's the kind of thing that'll happen though. Like, man, what what did I get angry about? Like what you know, and and but and so those are signs uh that I can identify now. Uh and I'm making that's that's a very easy example there, but those are signs that I can identify now. So the big big deal for me is like, you know, take take stock in the everyday, you know, and and and so you know, uh I count my blessings in the morning that I'm on this side of the grass, you know, and then uh and at night, you know, what happened today? You know, what what did I do? What what you know kind of recount and then well, wait a minute now, why why'd I get angry, you know, at Vern's uh uh you know, uh Phoenix behind him that just makes no damn sense. Like why? You know, and then uh uh and this is something that somebody once told me, I and and I I it's one of my little mantras, but uh don't sweat the small shit, and most of the shit's pretty small. And excuse me for cursing, but no, you're good. You you get to figure that most most of the stuff that's happening around us is pretty small. So why are we sweating it? Yeah, so you know, spend your time on the important thing. So yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Yeah. No, I mean, and and I think that that's you know something that we hear often a lot is um you know, kind of what you're saying, you're just your honesty there, where you're like, I didn't really do a great job throughout my career taking care of myself, right? It wasn't until either you later on in my career or after I get out of my career, I actually started to see the the need for that and the benefit. Um, but the other thing we hear a lot, and I'm sure you hear just as much as I do, is you know, I'm present, but I'm not pre but I'm not present, right? I'm I'm physically there, but I'm not really there, right? And and unfortunately, the our our home life family, like they're the ones that you know, they're they're the first hit. Um but they're also the most important aspect of our social support network, right? Having that good social support network at home, and but they're often the first ones to suffer. And um, you know, I've heard and I've heard it before where you know people are talking about, hey, you know, my my family would tell me that you know, we don't know which version of dad we're gonna get today, or we don't know which version of mom we're gonna get today. And it's like, you know, it's not until after people really start to see um how that's really played out in their life, right? And usually it's it's negative, right? Some something's happened, something's transpired, and then I step back and they're like, oh man, I never even knew that, you know, they'd be like, oh man, you know, who's it gonna be today? You know, and that's that's stressful for your for your family. Yes, sir. So learning that and then implementing that, you know, early on, I know that that's you know something key that you do when you go out and you speak and you're talking to people is like you're trying to impart that on them. Like, hey, you know, learn this stuff earlier on, um, because it's you know it's just gonna be a better benefit for you as you progress to your career.

SPEAKER_04 16:47

Yeah. I tell you, Vern, uh uh uh I tell people all the time, um, and we forget this, all your family wants to do is help you, they want to see you succeed. That's all they ever want to do. And and and as much as anybody, if you ask your family right now to walk across a highway, they'll do it without hesitation if that means that it's gonna be better for you, if it's gonna help you, they'll do it without hesitation. But why is the last ones we talk to for help? You know, we'll we'll we'll turn to the guy that's in the same shit that we're in and ask him for advice, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:28

And oh what do you think I should do? What do you think I should do? No, I'm I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 17:35

And we're and we're both belly up at the same bar, right? And in the same rut, you know, but I'm asking you the blind leading the blind, right? That's what we're talking about here. So uh and but to add to that is that uh, you know, what have we done to prepare our families to help us? You know, what what what have we had those conversations? And this is where I harp on a lot is that, and you and you just touched on it, is that have we had those conversations now before the wheels fall off? You know, hey, what's a bad day gonna look like? What it what what what do you need, what do I need when the bad day happens? Because this is this is the one promise I can make you is a bad day coming tomorrow.

SPEAKER_05 18:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:23

Right? So we can we we all can agree that there's a bad day coming, right? So why aren't we having the conversations now about what that bad day is gonna look like and what we need for that bad day? And and and I tell everybody for first responders, we train for every bad day there is. You know, we train for active shooter, we train for the bad fire, we train for the bad robbery, the shooting, the we train for all that stuff. Why are we going home and doing us just a little bit of training? Yeah, right. And it's just a conversation. What what do you need? What am this is and this is what I'm gonna need. You know, and that conversation, I can't, I can't, I don't have the magic answer. I don't, you know, I don't have the magic conversation, the magic words for each person, because that's should be different for everybody, right? Depending on your spouse, on your on your family makeup, on on their their factors, you know, whether it's a school teacher, accountant, a fellow first responder, you know, those conversations will be different. They may not want to hear the gory details, but they need to hear, oh, it was involving a kid. And then they need to know that, okay, when Vern came home and he said that that today was something involving a kid, I know he needs an hour. But made an agreement that Vern is gonna come back to me in an hour and maybe say, hey, you know, some kids died. And that might be all I need to hear. I don't want to hear how it happened. Right, I'm making a crazy example here, but uh why are we having those conversations now, you know, and and those are the things that we have to uh hopefully harp on when we talk to our people out there around the country and and and locally. Uh, you know, let's prepare ourselves now, you know, because uh when the wheels fall off, when the bad day happens, it's gonna be hard to have that conversation.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Yeah. And and yeah, but yeah, no, and it comes and it comes back down in the communication aspect, right? I mean, yeah, because that's that's one of the biggest things you hear about is is the lack of communication. Um you know, your family just wants to be involved. They don't want to know, like you said, they don't necessarily want to know all of the the you know the details of what transpired, but they just want to be involved.

SPEAKER_05 20:51

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

And they just want to know how they can come alongside and support you, like you said, before the wheels fall off, or before you know the dumpster's on fire rolling down the hill. Right. Like, you know, what can we do before this? Because you know, if you look at us after this has already transpired, you know, and like, you know, hey, hey, why don't you help me put down this fire? And you're like, we don't even like with what? Like we we're not equipped for that. You know, we haven't had these conversations. You haven't given us any tools to you know to to mitigate, like, okay, hey, if this, you know, if this transpires, I'm just gonna need this, this, and this. So, but no, that's you you're definitely on on track there, like having those having that onboarding with with the family. Um even, you know, I think even agencies could could even do a better job, you know, onboarding um fam. Yeah, they they onboard their new employees all the time, right? But what about their families?

SPEAKER_05 21:47

Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Right?

SPEAKER_04 21:48

Right, right. Like I I tell you, I I actually saw an agency and it's kind of it's kind of cool to see this. They actually have a a two day Of course, optional orientation for the family. And I thought that was so cool. You know, you get to come in, and it's exactly what they talk about was communication, communication, communication. And they kind of went through, hey, don't forget, like this new cop can see everything from you know uh saving the cat in the tree to a mass casualty incident and everything in between. Right? So make sure they have that that reality uh kind of brought to them and then and then said that it's about communication. I thought it was just a cool uh you know concept, you know, to kind of have a and they have I think it was two days because I think you had to come to one, you know. So they had to give like two watches, but it was so but you had to come to one. I think it was like four hours, you know, so it wasn't a grandiose, you know, commitment, but just something to kind of let them know that you know communicate, this is a tough job, and you are a big part of it, which I just thought is cool. I just thought it really. So um, yeah, so that it there hopefully that kind of thing catches on a little more. But even you know, even what we do now, we we do gotta have uh we that we need to do better in training our new officers, new deputies, into including the family into that process of of you know coming home and decompressing, whatever that you know, whatever word you want to use, but yeah, and and having those conversations. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

Yeah. And so with that, what would you what are three things that you would um you know, three three advice or you know, these three things you'd like to instill in somebody just coming into the profession?

SPEAKER_04 23:57

Yeah. Uh well, one one is that, right? Like um definitely include uh your family, you know, make sure that that they're part of the process and that you start a a process of of uh communicating with them and finding what works. So it's it's gonna probably always be a living, breathing thing. It's probably gonna change over the years, because I I I I will submit to you that the officer you are day one is gonna change, you know, in in year 10, right? And then again in year 20, and and and we should we could probably say year one to year five and year 10, 15, 20, right? So uh so that's gonna change and then because we just even if you in in any profession and in in any walk of life, you just you know you're getting gained experience and change. So uh be open to that change and and and you know, opening those lines of communication up with the people that are close to you. Uh uh I would say that pay attention to yourself and pay attention to your spouse uh or that that family member, you know, uh and and give them the uh what's the word I'm looking for? Give them uh the right, the the the permission to say, Vern, you don't seem like yourself. You know, Vern, you're picking up a couple too many drinks. Uh Vern, man, you're getting angry about nothing. You know, and and and pay attention to that. Because if you let this person in your circle and you uh and you are trusting them in your circle, then you gotta trust what they got what's gonna come out their mouth, you know, and and take it to heart, right? And uh and pay attention to yourself. I mean, that that those are the three things. Listen to the people around you, let the people in, uh, you know, making those community and pay attention to yourself. I mean, uh uh keep doing the things that make you happy. Keep trying to find new things that make you happy. Uh uh, you know, and I don't care what it is, man. You know, we were uh uh, you know, we were talking to uh uh we were at a class um a couple a couple months ago, and uh Doug Mondo, my partner, actually uh he had asked the the audience, hey, you know, give me a couple things and make you happy. And this this uh this man, you know, he picked on the on the guy, and and and the guy said, man, my my my daughter caught her first fish on her Barbie uh fishing reel thing. And man, you can see this guy smile.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

That's that's it. Yeah. That's it. You know, not to be anything grandiose, but that guy's like, that me and my daughter's time makes me happy.

SPEAKER_04 26:58

I do everything I can to have that present time with my daughter, not just bare and body and letting her fish and being, or just God of the camera, but being that guy just laying back, letting it happen. But being present, I lean so far back I came out of the camera view.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

So I didn't want to say nothing. I thought you, I thought you flipped out of your chair, and I was like, well, we're just gonna play that out.

SPEAKER_04 27:23

No, I just lean so far back, I came out of view. Sorry about that. But uh, but yeah, but be he is being present in his in his daughter's life, and that makes him happy. Man, whatever it is, pay attention to what makes you happy and and and and and fight for that. You know, fight for that. So uh those are the three things I would say, you know, and and and then none of them are easy. No, uh, you know, easy to say, but none of them are easy to do, you know, and can and consistently do.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yeah, especially with cops, and you start talking about letting people in and and uh and and listening listening to people and allowing somebody to come in and and kind of hold you accountable.

SPEAKER_04 28:04

Hold you accountable. That's the word. Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 28:07

And giving them giving them that permission, I mean, and uh, you know, and my wife will do that with me. I mean, she'll she'll straight she'll straight call me right out, and I'm like, uh it's it's not uh it's not enjoyable, right? When hey, you're you know, what what is what is going on? Why are like why are you so upset? Like why are you so like what is what is going on? Because it's not this, right?

SPEAKER_05 28:33

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Because generally it's over something stupid, right? You it's just things have built up to the point where you know it's it's just something dumb, right?

SPEAKER_05 28:42

The last straw, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

Um, I mean, one that sticks in my mind that's uh this was probably six months or a year ago now was you know, I was trying to make some um roll-up things in the air fryer and like they were sticking and they all they fell apart and like and man, I lost my mind. And she's just like, what? Like, it's not it's not that big a deal, right? You know, it's it's not, it's it's not, it wasn't, but it just for whatever reason, you know, I just had a lot of stuff going on, and like you're already taxed, and then you know, you're just you know, it's kind of one of those where can't just one thing go right? Like, can can one thing just um but it's not that it's it's all the other things that we haven't dealt with, and then that's just one more thing, and then now all of that is coming out, and just like you said, well, eventually it's gonna come out, and then how does it come out? Right, right. I mean, you are we we can go through the list again, but generally we see it in you know domestic violence and drinking and things like that, and or just you know you just bottle up so long until you just you know implode. Right. And then at that point you're like, well, now what do I do?

SPEAKER_05 29:54

Right.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Right. I mean, uh now you're you're facing so many other things rather than just the stuff you've been dealing with.

SPEAKER_04 30:02

Um and let's not and let's not sugarcoat it, uh, you know, uh I I I am I am saddened, I mean, by the last 30 days or so, and this just in the state of Florida here, I think we've had like five suicides. Just here in the state of Florida. I mean, so when when we say uh not dealing with this stuff is gonna eventually come out in some bad way, let's not let's not forget that the ultimate you know it would be that, right? So um and and and that that's that's a that is a direct consequence of not dealing with any of the stuff that's going on in your head and in your heart. So uh yeah, I mean we we definitely have to be be paying attention and and to each to ourselves and to each other.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

Yeah, and that's why you do what you do, and that's why I do what I do, is because you know, we want people to understand, like, hey, look, it it's okay, you know, if you're if you're struggling, if you're having a hard time, like that's that's normal, right? That um like but make use of the resources that are available to you, but you know, for so long in the profession, it you know, you didn't you didn't talk about it, or you didn't share the fact that you were struggling or that you know that you had things going on, so you would just internalize it, right? And then that just creates that isolation, yeah, and nobody else talks about it. So in your mind, you're like, well, nobody else must be dealing with it. I must there must be something wrong with me.

SPEAKER_05 31:31

Right.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

Right. And then it gets to the point where you know whatever whatever that presenting concern is gets so intense that they just want it to stop. So they make the decision. Hey, all right, well, this will make it stop. This will make it stop. It'll it'll make it stop. I won't have to deal with it anymore. Um, right? So they they lose, you know, their you know, they feel helpless, they feel hopeless, and they feel worthless, right? That's right. When you have those three things, that's that trifecta that puts people in that bad spot to where they make that decision. You know, so if we can if we can come back in and we can we can you know take out one of those or or instill one of those back into where they feel like they have some worth, right? Where they feel like you know they have some hope, where they feel like they are is help, then we can start alleviating some of this stuff. But yeah, you know, it's it's uh it's a it's a big it's it's a big task that you know the first responder community really really needs to look at and say, okay, you know, how can we really start implementing some of this stuff across the board? Because I mean you've got some agencies that do really well, and you've got some that don't do anything. And uh so if we can start having people realize that they're not alone, I think then we can start changing some things.

SPEAKER_04 32:47

I think I think this is important that we have these conversations uh out loud. Out loud in all the rooms, right? So because I I believe in this. Hopefully the next time I see you, we're having a conversation in a room full of people. And and and it it really won't be for us so much, but it'd be for that person in the back of the room that overhears us speaking. They need to hear something that we're saying. And hopefully that moves the needle a little bit for them to go ha go out and and and get the resource that they need to potentially save their lives. You know, so I think that that us having these conversations is is more important than we'll ever know. Um because somebody listens to us. You know, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and I I believe it. And I've I've I've I've had my own, you know, uh sign, so to speak. But there's been times when you're doing doing what we do now, you don't know who you reach, right? You don't know if you're making a difference. You don't know, you know, what what's happening once people leave the room that you're in and you're speaking. Uh and and it it it you know it can be heavy, right? Because uh and I end up uh not end up, but we in our position do listen to people that are struggling with different things, and and that gets heavy sometimes. So uh man, you and so every now and then I'll get I'll get tired. Yeah and wondering if if I'm if I'm making a difference. And and I I swear every time I I feel that way, God sends me somebody that says, hey, I I I heard what you said and it helped me. I heard what you said, and and and we got somebody over here some help. And and and and that that re-energizes me, man, in a way that just it's hard to explain, but uh it's always on time. It's always on time. So I believe in having these conversations out loud and in rooms full of people. I believe in it.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

No, absolutely, and that's something we don't often talk about. I mean, and people are like, oh, you know, people people shy away from getting into the topic of suicide because you know, it it's uncomfortable, it's been uncomfortable in in the first responder community, you know, in that space for a long time. But you know, just because it's it's uncomfortable doesn't mean it shouldn't be talked about.

SPEAKER_05 35:37

Right. Right? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

Absolutely and uh so I mean with that, I mean, obviously, you know, it's it's something that you're passionate about. So with that, like what are you let's get to like what you're doing now with you know with the work that you're doing. I think I think it's a good segue into into where you're at now and what you're doing and resources you're trying to provide, man.

SPEAKER_04 35:57

For sure, for sure. Uh so I I touched a little bit, I kind of got into public speaking by mistake uh due to the Pulse Nightclub thing I was involved in with with just a bunch of you know great, great other SWAT guys and law enforcement as a whole. Um, you know, we were involved in that. Uh we I ended up doing public speaking because if we were tasked on debriefing the incident to different agencies. Uh at the same time, I'm kind of going through my own mental health journey and doing my best to uh hide it and kind of, you know, I'd had my my breakdown, but I had my breakdown with my family. Uh and so I'm getting help and in the same time I'm I'm I'm doing these debriefs in different parts of the country about pulse. And and so uh if you fast forward uh about a year or so, you know, a year and a half actually, uh, I've started saying something to the effect of, you know, if you got something in your head or if you're having any struggles, I forgot what I was saying, but just don't be afraid to get some help. I would just right at the end of my debrief. I mean, I talked for two hours and I throw like a 10-second little blurp in there. And uh uh Doug Monda, the founder of Survived first, happened to be in the audience one day and heard me say that, um, approached me, we talked, uh, he wanted to know my story. I I gave him my mental health story, and uh uh, you know, he said people need to hear that. And and I didn't know again what I didn't know. I just again I I I was dealing with it on my own. You know, I was I was I you know gotten I was getting help and and I was dealing on my own and then didn't didn't really know that you know I was in my own little world, kind of trying to get myself together. So uh that opened me up to like there's a whole world of this going on right now in the first responder uh community. Uh so I I I dove in, you know, and and uh started doing stuff with Survive First. And so, you know, push forward now. Uh I I am I am uh honored to say that we get to with Survive First, um we get to take the know out of the process or help take the know out of the process for first responders getting the resources that that they need. Uh you know, we we uh we we take those calls from people that are looking to get help to get uh treatment assistance with and and that may be monetary, you know, if they need a uh deductible coverage and they're going to a treatment center, we can help with some of that, right? Uh neither need a plane ticket, we can help with some of that, you know, uh those type things. If they just need a resource. We're we're we're uh we're just again honored to say that we have a network around the country uh of resources that we can you know uh pick up the phone and they and and they pick the phone up when we call and uh and get you help. So no matter where you're at in the country, I know somebody. Uh and and that's just what Survive First does. I'm now on the board of Survive First, and uh, you know, I'm humbled by that. Uh and and with that, you know, we move slow into associating ourselves with with different resources because we gotta make sure that because you know, when this with first responders and in this, I hate saying the word industry, but it is what it is. Uh in this mental health industry for first responders, you get one chance.

SPEAKER_05 39:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:46

You know, so if I if I tell somebody to call Vern and Vern don't pick the phone up, we lost it. We lost that chance. You know, now we gotta hope that the person that's in need that's gonna go back into that cycle will will eventually come back out and look for help again. But again, we're a whole lot of hope, and and you know, we're hoping that they don't lose their way in that cycle and and again, you know, end up DUI, domestic violence, suicide, all those things are possibilities, right? So uh so you have one chance when you're dealing with us and somebody that has finally gotten to the point to raise their hand and say, I need help. Because we all know what it's taking for that person to get to that point. So you've got one chance. So we move really slow to make sure we associate ourselves with resources that we have vetted. Um, and and and one of the ones that I bring up and and I work with is After Action. That's another thing I'm involved with. So Survive First and After Action. Uh, After Action is a treatment center out of California and and more. Uh, you know, they do everything from education to again networking, that the CEO is is uh he's he's doing the right thing for the right reasons. Uh and with with that I mean that if we don't do it after action, he wants us to find whatever resource that's gonna help that person get help. So even if it's not with after action, he wants to make sure that we're helping. And and I can get down with that, you know, and after action. Uh as far as a a treatment center, um, and and and I don't talk bad about treatment centers. Uh they all do good, well, most of them do good work. Uh uh, I think again, uh After Action does it a little bit better because they do it for the right reasons. And and and bottom line is that they're not so hell bent about the profit. They're they're they're hellbent about helping and helping to make the profit. There's a difference. You know, there's a difference when putting the profit first as opposed to helping first. And that's where after action's uh hard is. And then the other thing that that that's even you know a big deal as well is that uh they do more intense work. They've done the homework before they opened the first door and said that uh this is what first responders have a hundred percent said is the most impactful parts of being in the treatment uh facility. So we're gonna do more of the impactful work than just the industry standard, just that what with everyone else, and I mean that part, every other treatment facility in the country stays close to the industry standard. Even though the evaluations from every 100% of the first responders that come out say this part, which would be time with the therapist, and and and the second part is the group sessions with other first responders, those are the most impactful parts of being in a treatment facility. After action, you get four times the amount of each. So you're gonna see a therapist almost every day in after action where the normal is once a week. You're gonna do group sessions uh every day where the norm is maybe a few times a week.

SPEAKER_05 43:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:47

Just those are the best things. And and again, it's about helping first. And we gotta keep the lights on. So we're trying to make some money too, but we gotta help first. And that's where it comes from. So that's the two things I'm gonna do. I'm involved with is survive first and after action, uh and and a whole bunch of other resources. Those are two main ones. Uh, and we try to, you know, it's a continual thing. You know, we just I was just on the meeting yesterday about and and and I am not the tech savvy guy, but we were on a meeting yesterday about some AI stuff and and how that's starting to uh creep into this you know mental health industry. And uh and and and and it made it it's remarkable what I saw yesterday. I I you know I'm just I'm still having a problem working my iPhone, so I just want to let you know where my level is. But just really cool stuff out there on the I don't want to say on the horizon like it's here, it's just I'm starting to find out about it. But it's really cool. And so we we continually try to vet things and and and make sure we stay uh aware of what's going on around the country.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

Yeah. No, that's and that's awesome. And um, you know, I appreciate what you're doing. And what I'll do is I'll actually uh I'll put the information for survive first and after action in the uh thank you, sir.

SPEAKER_04 45:10

Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 45:10

In the show notes. That way, uh, you know, if somebody wants to reach out, they can do that. Awesome. So I mean, as we kind of you know, I want to be respectful of your time, so as we kind of start to wrap things up here, um, you know, when you look back over your career and kind of where you're at now, like how much is how much has your faith played a role in that?

SPEAKER_04 45:28

Man, you know, uh uh so I I I I I don't think I lost my faith, but I did forget about it. You know, in the middle of my career. Uh it wasn't until I had my breakdown uh and and started going to therapy and and and talking with my dad actually as well that I remembered my relationship with God. Uh I remember that I had a strong relationship with God and I and I let that get clouded. I let I let I let myself uh forget, you know, I I I forgot about going to him, you know, and and just just having those conversations, right? So um and remember, you know, I it was it was uh it was sad for me. Uh because it wasn't it was it was never a thing of uh I lost my faith. I just I forgot about it, you know. And when I when I that's what that makes sense, but yeah, when I remembered I could go to God, you know, and I and and I hadn't been, uh that was a big deal for me. Uh I I I will tell anybody that listens, you know, that God is my savior and and and uh and he's guided me through where I am today, you know, uh with it with his help and and and uh yeah, it he's played an important part of of bringing me back to where I am today. Uh and and uh um I do believe that you know that that was the big plan, you know, that to to to make me sorry must pop up my computer here. There we go. Uh I believe that was a big plan of his to to to uh let me venture off a little bit and and remember, you know, and and and uh I think that made my our relationship a little stronger, my relationship with God a little stronger. So yeah, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 47:28

Yeah, well I appreciate it. And uh, like I said, I appreciate you taking the time and just coming on here and just sharing you know what you're doing, sharing some of your your experience. And um, but if somebody, you know, if someone wants to reach out um to you, what's the best way they can get a hold of you?

SPEAKER_04 47:43

Hey, I'm at Raul at SurviveFirst.us. Raul at Survive First. So one word dot us.

SPEAKER_02 47:55

Good. And I'll plug that in the show notes too. That way if anybody you know wants to reach out, they can do that. Uh but man, I appreciate your time, and I'm sure that we could we could keep this up and we could talk about so many different things, but you know, I think that anytime, sir.

SPEAKER_04 48:09

Anytime. Uh, you know, anytime you want to just you know break some bread or or or or chew the fat, just give me a call or I'm ready to go.

SPEAKER_02 48:17

I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 48:18

Thanks very much. All right, Rob. I appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. All right.

SPEAKER_01 48:23

I appreciate you tuning in and listening to Critical Aspects of Law Enforcement. Remember to subscribe to the podcast and share this resource with your fellow officers. The goal of Critical Aspects is to serve, support, and sustain the law enforcement professionals. So head over to www.criticalaspects.org for more resources and information, and not always at Doc D Safety.